I'M SICK FOR THE 3RD TIME THIS MONTH!
ARRGH!
DAMN IT!
seriously hate it man.
why am i just so suay!

i'm half deaf now.
my left ear cannot hear.
this is not a joke at all.
i woke up with a super pain left ear yesterday morning.
it's really terribly PAIN i swear.
and my ear is blocked, cant hear things clearly.
actually this happened since my BIG flu 2 weeks ago.
my ear just feel kind of blocked.
but it was never so painful!

i kept whining and complaining then piggy kept scolding me.
i know she's irritated, i know screaming wont cure my pain but i just cant help it!
痛到我忍不住哭了几次。
sunday afternoon there's no clinic open at my neighbourhood so i went down to yishun 8am-11pm clinic again.
damn long queue.
doctor said it is internal ear infection due to my previous flu.
the phlem outflow from my nose air way to my ear canal, got stuck there and infected my ear.
DOTS >.<

i knew it was really a BAD FLU cuz it took almost 2 weeks to recover.
i even have to go phamacy to buy clarinase cuz my nose refuse to stop running.
my nose was often stuck with toilet paper during work.
it was hell week for me cuz i was either working or giving tuition everyday even though i was sick.
maybe i didnt get enough rest so the illness couldnt recover fast.
just when i thought i'm finally getting well, then this stupid infection came.
it's really 一波未平，一波又起。
haiz.

这几个礼拜一直这样忙下来，
我真的有种快要崩溃的感觉。
好像发钱荒似的，一直让自己不停的工作，也不知道究竟为了什么...
只知道自己好累，好累...
但这一切都是自己自找的，不是吗？
没人叫我一定要每天工作；
没人叫我放了工还出去；
没人叫我生病了还不好好休息...

我一直让自己很忙很忙，好像是想麻醉自己，想逃避一些什么...
有时候真的不想呆在家里，不想看到爸爸，不想面对妈妈...
我已经不知道该做什么、该说什么。
爸爸的病一点起色都没有，而且好像越来越懒，什么都不肯做。
妈妈一直complain她很辛苦，说要不是为了我们两个小的，她早就放弃，不支撑下去了。
我听了真的很心痛...
but i cant do anything to help...
每个人都撑得很辛苦，但再苦还是得熬过去，
只是不知道到底得熬多久；我们熬得过吗？

coming july will really be a hell month for me.
it's a super packed month.
with lots of things on.
1 week hotel job, senior camp II, hall FOC, plus my usual paragon job and tuition.
hope i dont break into pieces by the end of the month.

oh ya i need to apologise to jeanie dear.
sorry for not being able to meet up on that friday.
was really feeling unwell.
dunno when can we meet up again but please do take care.
we still have lots to catch up.
miss you!