失去的东西，
想要取回的东西，
无法复得的东西，
尽管如此却还是想要求的东西，
还有不满足的东西，
我想把他们全部都沉甸甸的抱在手里......

read these from a comic that ais lent me.
很喜欢，应该是感同身受吧......

但是事实是残酷的，
不是所有的东西你想要就能得到。
很遗憾的，有些东西早已不在我的双手能碰到的距离内......
尤其是那些失去的东西，
往往一去不复返......

或许我真的是身在福中不知福吧。
我知道我身边有很多关心我的人，
但是我却还不满足，不快乐。
我连我自己要什么都不知道......

很感谢那些关心我的人，
除了说谢谢，
我不知道还能说什么。
我只希望这些人是发自内心，真心的以朋友的角度来关心我，
而不是因为某些其他的原因。
当我知道有些朋友是以别的角度来关心我时，真的有点失望。
对不起，但是我只把每个人当朋友看待......

some times i really wonder if what piggy said about me was right.
that i'm a total bitch.
我是不是真的做错了什么？
我很怕是自己让别人误会了我。
如果真的是这样，
我真的很对不起......
对不起！

and sorry to those who ask me to watch "'Pirates of the Caribbean".
i'm sorry but i guess i wont go watch it with anybody.
cuz to me, this is a movie with special meaning.
less than a year ago,
i watched the part2 with the special someone of mine back then.
我曾经说过我们要一起看未来的每一部......
虽然现在我们不在一起了，这个约定也就不需要守了，
但目前的我，暂时不想让其他人取代这个特别的地位......
我并不是放不下过去，
只是不想现在的生活有任何不必要的改变，
也不想再让任何人有任何误会......
so i rather watch it myself or with my sister.

想告诉一个好朋友：
单纯的喜欢一个人并没有错。
但如果一直希望自己喜欢的人也喜欢回自己，
那就不怎么对了......
有些事情不一定要找到或知道答案，
知道了或许反而对自己没有好处。
像我一样，最喜欢act blur了，
什么都不要懂太多，不闻不问，
或许这样比较好吧。
自己喜欢的人喜不喜欢自己并不是很重要，
重要的是他/她过得幸福快乐，不是吗？
如果自己喜欢的人也喜欢自己，
那当然是个bonus.
但如果不是，你可能连现在的一切也会失去。
我觉得不值得。

所以我选择什么都不要知道，什么都不去问，
i rather live in my own fantasy,
cuz the reality is often cruel.
活在自己的幻想世界里，
应该会比较快乐吧......

sorry for this very very random entry.

wasted my off day yesterday.
wanted to pack my wardrobe and monitor that pig to study,
but i end up sleeping most of the time -.-"
besides vacuuming the whole house, washing clothes and helping out with cooking of dinner,
i did nothing but sleeping and watching tv.
feel myself so useless and my life so meaningless......

dunno why i'm beginning to feel very emo again these few days.
vexed over a lot of things.
haiz......

spent my whole day with my les partner ais today.
worked am shift together.
went for lunch together and bought our movie tickets.
almost got into trouble together cuz ina saw us leaving paragon together and wendy wasnt happy when she found out that we went for break together :x
oh well lucky nothing happen and nobody scold us or what, bleh.

both ais and me are quite emo these days.
so we went a bit crazy after work.
i guess we were trying to let out.
went to walk around before our movie starts.
took neoprints!
like so OMG, so long never take already.
seems like neoprints is outdated.
now with camera handphones, who still wanna take the expensive neoprints!
and the machine we chose sucks big time.
the pictures turned out so funny and kind of ugly :(
maybe we dunno how to use ba.

went arcade too.
played the table hockey thing.
and we were like mad women.
our things were flying all over the place can, haha.
but it's damn FUN!
and ais played the skateboard thingy!
she looked so pro la!
and i took photos of her playing it!
wahaha :p

and we took a lot a lot of photos together!
so mad and crazy.
we just keep posing and smiling and taking photos with our handphones until our face cramp.
so vain but i like! hee.


we watched 'blades of glory'.
supposed to be a very nice comedy according to our friends
but we dont really find it that funny.
the funny parts are like so lame and dirty?
i dont understand why the guys sitting around us can still laugh until so damn loud.
the funny parts are like making fun of their body parts.
so i guess it's very funny to laugh at their own *ahem*?
whatever.
maybe my mood wasnt right to watch the movie.
or maybe i already tried too hard to be happy for the entire day so i'm worn-out to the extent that i cant enjoy the movie.

come to think of it,
i'm really really tired after all these while.
especially my mind.
things keep running through non-stop.
i feel like shutting it off right now......

thanks ais for your movie treat.
i love our crazy arcade and photo-taking sessions.
:)

and ya, ais has decided to resign and go back to sales line which is of higher pay.
so after 1 month i wont be working with her at paragon anymore :(
i respect her decision but i know i'll miss this lesbian partner of mine.
miss her talkative-ness and her scratching, haha.
this year paragon A&P turnover rate is so high can,
in just a few months time, wengster left, uncle neo left,
and now, even ais is leaving......
i think the management should do some reflection!
but i guess it's none of my business since i'm just a part-timer.
can foresee that wendy will defnitely hire a new full-timer soon.
for the sake of money, i shall work all the way till school starts!

numbing myself with work......

YESTERDAY

gordon and xueyun came to visit me during work!
was so surprised la!
especially when i saw xueyun!
like a 1000years never see her can!
they waited for me and i spent my break time with them at paragon's ah mei chatting away.
this time is really BK ex-crew reunion cuz we know each other through working at BK :)
i miss xueyun SO MUCH can!
got to know that she graduated from poly already and is currently undergoing training to be a personal trainer at california fitness club!
like so OMG can!!!
she doesnt look like that sort at all!
but can tell that she gained some muscles already.
female personal trainer, like WOW.
haha.
but she really matured a lot.
glad about that.
just that feel sad to know she and her boyfriend just broke up.
5years relationship, but when the passion is no longer there and their goals are different...
i'm sure she has her own reasons :)
i'm very grateful that she taught me a lot of things through this chatting session.
it's like everytime i meet up with ex-colleagues from BK,
i always learn things about life from them, views from different angles.
her words set me thinking again......
have a lot to catch up with her!
must meet up again soon!

after work went marina bay to eat steamnboat with yingsheng, wenyi, xingling, siying and yang laoshi.
it's supposed to be a farewell dinner for yang laoshi cuz he's leaving for hongkong to teach while his wife is going to further her studies.
though he didnt really teach me during my JC years,
i learned a lot from him and thanks to him that i'm exposed to more things beside just studying.
ALL THE BEST to him and his family in hongkong!

didnt eat much of steamboat.
dunno why.
i dont have the mood and the atmosphere wasnt good.
i just feel awkward.
yang laoshi left early and the we just practically 'stone' the rest of our time.
went home straight with sheng and wenyi while xling and siying dropped off at orchard for late night shopping.
i hardly go home so early when i've outing!
kind of regret not joining the girls, sorry...
perhaps i was too tired......

_________________________________________________________________

TODAY

went to piggy's school in the morning.
Parent-Teacher Conference.
so i'm her 'guardian', haha.
oh well mum is always not free and dad is never interested in this type of thing.
and since i know piggy the most, i'm the best person to go! :p
this pig is getting more and more lazy,
results de-proving.
quite worried for her cuz she tends to be like me.
crucial year then starting to escape...
she failed her english and humanities quite badly,
the rest still not bad, almost all 'A's except for bio.
but english and humans are the most important ones!
arrgh i dunno how to help her can.
she used to be so hardworking and discipline, so much better than me.
but now, she is either watching tv or sleeping.
PIG!
scold her also not much use. haiz.
i dont want her to end up like me!

went to amk hub to walk walk and treat that pig to pepper lunch.
i dont feel like eating so just watched.
i really love hanging out with her, feels the best...
guess i should really squeeze out more time for this pig of mine.
especially monitor her studies!
haha.

work is super busy.
promotion and great singapore sale starts plus it's a saturday.
you see crowds of people everywhere!
and i'm so sick of this scene!
something bad happened to huiting during work, hope nothing serious will happen to her and the rest of us wont be affected.
only good thing, my dear fiona is back to work at the counter!
cuz she having school holidays now.
so i'll get to see her more often :)
i hate it when it's boring at work,
but i also hate it when it's too busy at work.
arrgh.

thanks ais for giving me the four leaf clover handphone chain for me to 转运.
hopefully my luck will be better!
love you my les partner :)

thanks zhihao for accompanying me during my break today :)

so i guess i'm still having bad luck.
cuz liverpool lost! :(

thanks gordon for his first hand information,
though i'm already fast asleep, hee.

piggy and i were trying to watch the match online cuz we dont have sports channel and cant possibly go to coffee shop to watch at that hour but couldnt find a website which telecast it live.
in the end have to watch the 'mosaic' section from SCV.
look at how small the screen is!

1page is showing 16 different channels at the same time.
the yellow frame grid is the one that we were STARING at.
so pathetic can!

the stupid pig even tried to use binoculars to enlarge her view.
i was laughing like mad can.
lol.

we watched from that tiny screen until we both fell asleep la,
until AC milan scored a goal near to half time.
it's too hard to concentrate with that tiny view so we gave up and decided to go sleep.
in the morning then saw gordon's message on the result.

oh my, we're really too crazy about soccer these days.
lucky the season is ending,
if not i think i'll have to give more treats, haha.
so now i've to treat that pig to pepper lunch!
and i still owe zhihao a treat.
must save more money already :x


oh well, today is the last day of slacking at the counter.
cuz promotion starts tomorrow.
bet we'll be damn busy for the next whole month cuz this time round we've a lot of things to do.
and i only have 4 off days in june.
nvm more work means more income.
can go shopping!
it's the Great Singapore Sale!
so people,
it's time for SHOPPING SPREE!
if i can have some sponsors,
i'll be more than happy :p
but i know i'm just dreaming, haha.

for those who have the money, enjoy this GSS!
:)

this week started off badly for me with a super BAD MONDAY!
3 MAJOR bad things happened to me within just the first half of the day.
i dont wish to talk about them anymore
but cant believe that i'm really so unlucky and 'sway' recently!
can somebody please tell me what can i do to 转运?
haiz :(

glad that things seem to be getting slightly better today.
hopefully this will carry on.
my bad luck quickly go away!

worked mid shift today but stayed back to accompany ais till 10pm cuz she is sick and she didnt want to work alone.
i realise this lesbian partner of mine falls sick easily, haiyo.
please dont play maple so much and rest more!
cuz i stayed back to 'work' for free so she promised to treat me to movie.
keep your promise hor!
hee.

anyway i went to punch out at my supposed end work time and when i returned to the counter,
i saw this HUGE bear (half the size of me perhaps) sitting on 1 of our counter chairs.
was so shocked can, wondering why is that thing doing at our counter.
then ais said it belongs to a guy who is waiting for his girlfriend to end work.
he wanted to surprise her so ask if we can 'keep' for him first.
well we're not suppose to help people keep anything at the counter just in case they put bomb (-.-")
but ais made an exception for him.
the girlfriend works at make up store.
when they walked past counter we returned him the bear.
can tell that the girlfriend was surprised and she said something like "so paiseh".
but it's so sweet can.
*envy envy*
i guess this type of thing will only happen to me inside my own fantasy, haha.

oh ya i'm praying that liverpool will win by 90mins in the champions league finals later!
if not at least a draw so that i wont have to give that pig a treat!
haha.
GO LIVERPOOL!

YESTERDAY

my off day.
finally get to do facial after almost half a year.
went to auntie yap's house in morning.
two and a half hours of facial plus massage,
SHIOK! :D

and i finally get to meet up with junyi & freddy after one and a half years!
miss these friends i made from working at Burger King 4years back.
though freddy wasnt a BK crew but he always popped up at our kitchen!
haha.
kind of miss the days...
still remember these guys went through with me my toughest part of life back in secondary school days.
especially when i was hospitalised, they visited me a few times!
:)

went bugis.
sat at BK and chat for quite long until we felt paiseh cuz a lot of people were waiting for seats.
walked around bugis junction and chat at the same time before going to some nearby hawker centre to sit down and chat again.
so it's just chatting chatting and more chatting!

basically they didnt change much.
junyi is in his 2nd year of poly and happily with his girlfriend of 7years older than him!
i was damn shocked when i heard this, the gap is even bigger than my parents!
but i guess age doesnt matter cuz love have no boundaries, haha.
freddy just graduated from ITE and waiting for his enlistment in july.
so he's a show king now, very free to watch a lot of shows.
and thanks to him, now i've a lot of shows to watch!
no need to wait for the slow youtube to load, hee.
THANKS!

i guess i really learn a lot through chatting with them.
hear things which i've never heard before and totally dont understand.

junyi 说那是因为我和他们是不同‘世界’的人。
或许是吧......
有点不明白，为什么在地球这个世界上，还有分不同的‘世界’......

我的‘世界’似乎很‘完美’，‘走’的‘路’是大人们的理想‘道路’，
小学 (传统的6年) --> 中学 (传统的4年) --> JC (传统的2年) --> 大学 --> 出来社会工作

他们的‘世界’或许不是最完美的，走的或许不是最理想的路，
可能需要绕一大圈，可能少走一些。
他们的课业成绩或许不是很好，但他们不是坏学生；
他们曾经做过很疯狂的事情，但他们不是流氓。
他们不抽烟，不去club，
只是过着他们想要过的生活，
不去在乎所谓的‘理所当然’或是别人的眼光。
感觉上他们的生活似乎精彩得多，
至少比我的快乐得多吧......

我已经开始厌倦自己所活在的‘世界’......

SAD SAD SAD!
cuz man-u lost the FA cup :(

rushed home to change after going out yesterday night
then met up with piggy who went coffee shop to 'chop' seats earlier.
we were like so 'uncle' la,
watching soccer match at coffee shop with all the uncles.
i'm never so mad about soccer can,
dunno what leads to the sudden interest...

quite an exciting long match,
but haiz...
both piggy & i lost money cuz we buy man-u will win in 90mins.
and i lost my bet to zhihao cuz chelsea won in extra time!
so it will be my treat next time we meet up.
eh which will be next month ok?
cuz i'm too broke now, haha.

but stupid piggy wanna bet with me for champions league.
another treat.
she says she takes AC milan, i take liverpool.
loser treat pepper lunch, if draw then go dutch.
what the hell.
though i support liverpool, i dont have much confidence in them, haha.

i think betting on treats is worse than buying from singapore pools!
cuz more money is 'lost', lol.
and i'm on bad luck these days!
:(

oh no shan is so soccer crazy recently.
:x

been having mood swings lately.
i cant eat well, cant sleep well.
keep worrying about university stuffs.
i think i'm too stressed up over it.
that's why i broke down today.
i feel so terrible and stuffy with things bottled up inside me.
the day when i 'burst'......

i really dont have the mood to do anything,
no mood to talk to people or listen to people.
i can feel irritated easily.
so please,
LEAVE ME ALONE!
thank you for your understanding.

and i'm already super broke.
so dont ask me out to play, shop, Kbox, whatever.
unless it's under one of my to-do list or you're willing to pay for all my expenses.
haha.
sorry people,
let me isolate myself for a while......



Got up on the wrong side of life today yeah
Crashed the car and I'm gonna be really late
My phone doesn't work cause it's out of range
Looks like it's just one of those kind of days

You can't kick me down I'm already on the ground
No you can't cause you couldn't catch me anyhow
Blue skies but the sun isn't coming out no
Today it's like I'm under a heavy cloud

And (But) I feel so alive
I can't help myself, don't you realize

I just wanna scream and lose control
Throw my hands up and let it go
Forget about everything and runaway, yeah
I just want to fall and lose myself
Laughing so hard it hurts like hell
Forget about everything and runaway, yeah

So so is how I'm doing if you're wondering
I'm in a fight with the world but I'm winning
Stay there come closer it's at your own risk
Yeah you know how it is life can be a bitch

Runaway, runaway...
Runaway, runaway...
Runaway, runaway...
Runaway, run, run away...
Runaway, runaway...
Runaway, run, run away...

the very wrong thing i did today was to go back yj.
saw keith son last week at work so he invited me back to see odac.
they had interview for new exco members today.

but yj just simply suck to the core.
i mean their stupid rules and procedure.
i still love my friends there.

the security guard (fat malay uncle) doesnt allow me to go in.
1st he said about my attire.
he always like to find trouble with it.
hello i'm already wearing long pants and shoes according to what he said the previous time!
then he asked me why am i back so i told him i came to see my cca and teacher.
but he said i must get teacher to inform the OM who will then inform him.
if he didnt receive instructions from the OM then i cant go in.
what the hell!
i keep grumbling about ex-students so unwelcome back.

the next thing i know is angie and her friend are allow to enter the school.
my batch that ANGIE!
like hello, how come she can go in and i cant?!
so i asked the guard.

he: you dont come and question me. their case and your case different.
me: for what reason they can come back and i cant?
he: you dont argue with me, i can chase you out anytime!
me: what! ~#!^%&*=+1234567!

sheng came out to find me cuz i told him i'm coming back.
dunno why the moment i saw him,
i started crying.
it's like i feel touched when i finally see somebody familiar.
but i know i already made a scene out of myself at the security post.

keith came out to find me cuz i called to say that i'm not allow to come in.
end up he had to call ms lim to call the OM who called the security then i can enter.
troublesome.
but i knew the security already called OM to complain about me before ms lim called the OM.

and the 1st thing ms lim asked me when she saw me was "what you said to the security?"
"maybe the way you approach the guard is wrong. fahizul they all had no problems when they come in the previous times."
so end up it's my fault.
fine, i'm rude to the security guard.
so sorry can!
arrgh.
the guards want students to respect them,
but did they respect us in the 1st place?
and the other guard couldnt find my ez link card when i was leaving the school.
stupid can.
so their counter is so unorganise.
he only found it after i walked some distance away from the school.
so tomorrow have to trouble mrG to get my card for me.
haiz.

fuck up bloody school.
dont welcome ex-students back.
what kind of school is this?!
i swear i'll never go back again unless is to take my A level cert.
arrgh.


but it was nice to be together with odac people again.
the interview was quite fun!
i missed out last year's one cuz was busy with chinese drama.
can see some potential in the juniors.
hopefully yj odac can be better and stronger!
went for dinner with some of them (though i didnt eat) and hear more funny things.
i really feel better seeing these familiar faces.

i miss odac,
i miss the fun and fond memories we had together...


to sheng: thanks, for what i also dunno. but i just feel better when i see you. at least you're the 1st familiar face i saw in school today. and sorry that the only thing i did when i saw you was to cry and grumble. you must be damn paiseh. sorry...

to mrG: thanks for your spider-man toy! it cheer me up! you must have ate a lot of BK these days, haha. THANKS. and sorry to trouble you to get my ez link card for me tomorrow.

SATURDAY, MAY 12, 2007

HAPPY 16th BIRTHDAY to my darling sister!

it's piggy's birthday and i'm so happy that i was rostered off!
so i can celebrate it with her.
GREAT!

but i slept till quite late,
until yenru called me saying that she and sihui already reached our block,
then i realised that it was already past noon!
they messaged me a few days ago telling me that they are coming my house to surprise that pig.
oh well, it's really good to know your sibling's friends.
cuz last year we planned a surprise together for that pig too.
piggy is so lucky to have wonderful sis and friends!
haha.

so yup, they pressed my door bell (after i called them) and i made piggy to open the door.
they surprised her with their home-made cupcakes with candles.
so sweet can.
as sweet as their cupcakes, weeeee......

went town with piggy in the afternoon.
isetan scotts, tangs, heeren...
there's so many things to buy at isetan!
if i've the money......
piggy bought a new wallet and belt (i paid for this),
and i bought her a small electri fan from action city.
cuz she complained that the weather these days is too hot.
she got caught using her notes to fan herself during asembly some days back,
her DM called out her name in front of the whole school so she was quite paiseh, wahaha.

and we ate at fish&co. again!
the glass house branch is definitely my favourite!
somemore there is live band on saturday.
but too bad we were arranged to sit all the way inside after 15mins of waiting,
right outside of the toilet -.-"
no choice, we didnt book in advance and it was full house then.
had a very good and filling meal!
oh it's my treat to her.
so i'm super broke now, haha.
but it's ok cuz i love fish&co.!
next time can try their other new dishes and desserts!
cant wait for the paragon branch to open!

a super duper great day out with my darling piggy! :D
(just that my legs hurt like shit walking on the super high heels! haha.)

arrgh.
i totally screwed up my NIE interview today.

i worked half day and took cab down to MOE headquarters.
lucky i was very early.
firstly, i went to the wrong counter which is damn ma-lu,
secondly, at my counter then i realise i overlook the letter.
i brought all my certificates and stuffs,
not knowing that i must photocopy them!
how blur can i get.
then must go down to the office to photocopy,
and i dont have enough loose coins...

the interview is like damn scary.
sitting so near to 3 interviewers!
2 spoke to me in english and 1 in chinese.
i dunno how to answer their questions la.
crapped my way through then keep repeating myself...
and the guy who spoke to me in chinese even asked me about chinese literature stuff!
OMG la, i almost forgot everything can!
so i just said everything which comes to my mind which was quite blank at that point of time.
and i honestly told them that NUS is my priority, followed by NTU then NIE.
they asked me what, so i just tell the truth lo.
and they commented that i can speak chinese very fluently but when comes to english,
i didnt speak clearly and my words seem to get stuck at my throat.
they say if i'm going to be a teacher, i must learn to speak with my stomach,
if not after 2years of teaching, my voice will be totally gone.
aiya whatever la.
and i didnt know know i'm suppose to take english proficiency test!
they say only B3 and above is exempted.
-.-"
the test is not very cheap can.
arrgh.
i dont like bothering about this course,
not as if i really wanted it...

and yes i got a call for interview from NTU chinese faculty this morning!
though it's chinese, at least it's something.
but i didnt receive the email which the person said she'll sent me...
please dont prank on me!
i shall go read up on my chinese notes in case they ask me about related stuffs again, haha.
_______________________________________________________

met up with zhihao at city hall after the interview.
ate at new york new york!
it's our 1st time there!
quite sua-ku la, haha.
their ribs are real nice! and it's super big portion!
the freeze drink is thick enough also.
but their calamari CMI la....
we ate until damn full,
and i actually ate much more than him, haha.
anyway it's his treat again cuz he lost the soccer bet.
but i feel a bit bad la, cuz it's not very cheap...
so i promise when i got accepted by any university course,
i'll give hima treat!

we were very full so hang out around esplanade area.
there is a lot of construction work going on, spoil the scenery...
went to the roof terrace then walked to merlion park.
i just keep staring into the space, into the sky...
so vexed and worried these days...
i hope i didnt grumble too much to zhihao unknowingly.
if i did, so sorry!

anyway, it's a nice night out.
at least i can 透透气.
i'm worried enough myself, at home my dad still keep rubbing in.
he really dunno how to 看风使舵,
if not must be he purposely want disturb me & piggy.
super irritating can!
arrgh.

KINDLY LEAVE ME ALONE for the next few days.
sorry.

i must be real mad cuz i went to change my hair style.
as in major changes.
thought my mood was bad, wanted to change my mood so went to change hair style...

met up with xingling after work on tuesday.
shopped around for a while then went to centre point's hair inn to cut hair.
they having promotion, 20bucks for wash & cut...
both of us cut our hair, but of cuz xingling only TRIM a little.
but me...

had some disputes with my hair stylist at 1st.
cuz he didnt wanna cut the slope i requested,
he said nobody cut hair that way.
but besides that i dunno what styleto cut!
he didnt wanna cut the way i want, i couldnt make up my mind how to cut,
so we quite pek cek with each other.

but after some time we chat and even joke with each other,
i just told him to cut whatever he thinks suit me.
since i wanted some changes...

so my long hair became much shorter,
damn layered.
can be styled up and i'll look very punk!
but i dont really know how to style la, ha.
then when i pull everything down, it looks like coconut head, lol.
the most obvious is my fringe,
SHORT!
i remembered saying that i'll never cut this type of fringe,
but i dunno what got into me this time...

kind of regret cutting this hair style especially after waking up yesterday.
piggy says i look like nerd (cuz of my fringe),
dad says i look more ah lian now (cuz the back is very layered).
ais was quite shocked when she saw me and she said my fringe looks 'buang'.
damon says go cut hair when mood is bad is a very bad choice cuz usually you'll make wrong decision.
*faints*
i think i look damn act cute now la, haha.

but as what xingling says, it's a good change and i just need time to get use to it.
i agree with what zishen said, what done is already done.
and eleanor says i look quite good.
so i shall just make do with it!
anyway hair will always grow back.
i'll start to like my hair and learn to style it nicely!
hee.

this is how my fringe looks now.
please dont scream the next time you see me!


oh ya after cutting hair that night,
we went heeren's vila'ge to eat and chat.
we shared rosti and waffle!
so yummy, but sinful too, haha.
we havent had such long nice chat for so long.
happy happy :)

the negative feeling of working at the counter is getting stronger and stronger.
i dunno why.

there is roster issue again.
i thought after that bitch left, we wont have such problems,
but i was wrong.
though this time is not a conflict thing,
somehow i just hate this type of situation.
yes there is unfairness.
but i dont think it is something which we counter girls can resolve by ourselves.
i know all the changes to the roster doesnt affect me,
i just dont like the feeling of being caught in the middle.
they're all our friends and colleagues but how many can we help?
if we help one, what about the rest?
what about those who need to sacrifice in order to help others?
say i'm selfish or whatever.
not that i dont pity or wanna help those who only get to work a couple of days this month,
but how many times can we help them?
it's not up to us.
they can always find wendy and fight for their rights.
i just dont understand why wendy needs so many part timers.
anyway if i never remember wrongly,
that time when joann and felicia join in,
they say they'll only work one or two months?
but this is already their...
i know everybody wanna work more to earn more money,
who doesnt want?
so shall i quit and let the rest take my place?
haiz.

now i'm wondering why didnt i change jobs a few months ago.
say i get an office job, 9am-6pm, monday-friday,
at night i can give tuition, weekends can work other part time jobs,
maybe i could have earn much more.
but it's too late now, left with 2 more months.
i dont feel like changing jobs now,
neither do i feel like working at the counter.

am i just feeling tired?
or am i just having mood swing?
somehow i just feel terrible.
and all these are adding on to my headaches......

recent obsession:

SOCCER!

haha.
after world cup last year i never care anything about soccer already.
dunno why recently suddenly became interested in champion league and EPL when they gonna end soon.
maybe cuz people around me keep talking about it? ha.
gordon, zhihao and even my sis keep giving me information about the matches.
i'm so amazed that piggy actually know so much!
yesterday night we were so mad that we even went to coffee shop to watch the 1st half of the match of chelsea vs arsenal!

oh yay chelsea and arsenal draw so man united is the champion of EPL!
wahaha.
and i won my bet with zhihao!
can have a free meal, bleh :p

zhihao is a big fan of chelsea.
but sorry arh, i support man-u and liverpool.
and i always hope that chelsea loses though i like some of the players.
hee.
gordon, piggy and i are man-u and liverpool fans!
was happy when liverpool won chelsea for champion league semi-final.
but was so sad when man-u lost badly to AC milan.
hmmm i dont think liverpool can win AC milan though that's what i hope...

piggy says next year europe cup she wants to subscribe the sports channel and i must share the cost with her.
wow, that pig, never ask me then is a 'MUST' already.
haha.
next year is like how many hundreds days away......

SUNDAY, MAY 06, 2007

today is a great happy spidy day!!!
watch spider-man 3 with mrG!
wanted to watch it at vivocity but it was fully booked the previous evening.
so sad.
end up i've to book online cuz the tickets are running out very fast everywhere!
now i know, next time dont watch this type of popular movie during it's first 2weeks of release!

we had lunch at PS burger king.
cuz i wanna collect spider-man card and the toy!
but this time i got the sand man toy.
i want the spider-man one!
so must eat more burger king!
haha.
walked to the cathay to catch our movie.
my legs almost got cramped after 2hours plus of sitting down, lol.

the movie is a bit draggy as what some people said.
but it is funny and touching too!
like some of the sentences inside.
if i never remember wrongly...


oh well, i always hate to choose from choices cuz i cant tell which is right...

went back PS to play arcade.
didnt have much to play, only played daytona and the mario go-kart.
i prefer marina bay's arcade la.
rushed back home cuz i-weekly and 8days magazines gave wrong information by stating tonight channel5 showing spider-man 1.
i never watch part1 and 2 before ma.
but end up kanna cheated, it's not tonight la.

so went to the playground near my block to play with mrG's little brother.
he's only 16months old!
accident baby!
he's so cute!!!
but he doesnt seem to like me.
wanted to carry him, he kept saying "不要！不要！".
*faints*
i'm so scary meh?
haha.
he's super active la, keep running here and there.
i bet zishen must had hard time taking care of him, ha.
i love kids!
hmmm, 10years down the road,
i'll have some cute ones of my own too! :p

photos time: with mrG!



the super cute little zipeng!


he refused to take photo with me and keep moving!
sad :(

today is a pamper myself day!
spent money on my 'grooming'.
:x

worked half day only,
i did not special request but it's rostered like that.
so i've the time to myself.
went paragon make up store to trim and shape my eyebrow.
the lady is pretty nice, she taught me how to draw my eyebrow too!
now my eyebrow is lesser, i feel a bit weird but everybody say it's neater.
so i guess i dont regret, hee.

but i regret doing manicure and pedicure at nailz story inside fling of heeren.
i thought their happy hours promotion looks attractive so gave it a try.
but everything suck except for the massaging part.
2 ladies served me, 1 did my fingers and the other did my toes.
they didnt even bother to make my nails length equal until i told them!
their cutting, shaping and colouring skills all suck, everything is not equal can, haiyo.
i think ah ba or mummy lhea can do a much better job than them la.
just that i dont wanna bother them and i'm too lazy and not skillful enough to do it myself.
bleh.

my nails!

i'm in love with purple these days!
that's why my finger nails are painted milky purple and my toe nails are dark purple, hee.

shop around heeren, walked down to PS and shop alone after doing my nails.
bought a whilte blouse from dorothy perkins for my NIE interview next week.
ying says it's better to wear something slightly formal so i must spend money again cuz i dont have formal clothings.
i'm super broke since last month!
have been eating maggie mee quite often until mum also screams at me.
ais says i gonna drop a lot of hair, haha.
but what to do...
:p

meet up with the girls for dinner!!!
sakae dinner buffet at park mall!
though some of us are not really hungry, we still try to eat as much.
i didnt dare to eat too much after the previous time which i vomitted.
it's a bit not worth it cuz this dinner cost us 25bucks each!

it's 7 out of 8 girls without lulut as usual.
her job is quite tedious with long hours and very few off days.
i havent seen her for quite some while...
miss you lulut!

but we've jean with us today!
so it's still 8 girls, yay!
eat, chat and laugh away.
so nice.
havent had such good time with the girls already.
but some of them didnt talk much, i guess they're all tired from work.
anyway i really enjoy this dinner gathering.
it's great to catch up with each other once in a while.
thanks girls!
:)

had been having bad nights with insonmia since sunday.
dunno what's wrong.
even with cool rainy weather,
i still have to flip and row on the bed for 2hours then can finally fall asleep.
and i had nightmares!
dreamt about people humiliating me in public,
and the worse,
some people whom i know came to tell me that that's no way i can get into local university and that all the while they are just being nice by consoling me!
*faints*
i know they're just dreams, but it still freak me out and i always woke up in cold sweat.
haiz.

oh ya, window vista sucks!
it's security is TOO good can.
block this block that.
cant support so many programmes.
was trying to download maple with ais's help,
but after trying so many times and different ways and solutions,
it still cant be installed.
arrgh.
lucky i still manage to install my programmes for nokia and ipod.
so i finally can upload photos again!
uploaded a lot of photos at my imagestation.
better store my photos online in case anything happens to the PC again!
but *choy* la, haha.

picture time:

my cute mini vitasoy (125ml only!) with penguins cartoon characters on it!