OH NO!
the news is out.
A level result will be out THIS FRIDAY!!!

no wonder i have been so emo and fall ill these few days...
must be a bad sign.
haiz.

a few more days to enjoy before my doom day comes...

when i'm alone at night, a lot of things just run through my mind...

back in the beginning of january,
i had a very very nice dream.
a dream which only lasted for a week.

梦醒后，我才发现其实我一无所有...

the emptiness was even greater.

but what can i do? what can i say?
我一点质问的权利都没有。
我很想知道，我们到底算什么？

but i guess the answer dont mean anything now.
或许当初我们都太冲动了。
people say wrong thing and make wrong decisions at times.

我只希望我们还是朋友，
除非...

我知道有些东西不能挽回，
选择放手后，我把回忆永远的收藏在心里，
最可悲的是，这次，我连想要收藏的回忆都没有...

至于对上一个他的回忆，我已经把它们收藏好了。
我说放手就是放手了。
虽然心还是会痛...
但这也是人生中一个成长的过程，我也有不对的地方。

可是妹妹说我reply他的message时的眼神一定不一样，
她一看就知道我在message谁，
硬说我还没忘记他。
妈说这很正常，必竟他是旧情人...
whatever.

我很累，
真得很累。
对男人很失望，
对爱情更失望。

这世上真的有真爱存在吗？
我不知道，
也懒得去知道。

我受够了，
也伤够了。
真的够了。

went out with sufyan after work today.
or rather yesterday.
ate dinner at wheelock's burger king, chatted and gossip.
know more inside stories! ha.
walked down to PS to catch ghost rider.
well, quite a typical hero happy ending show.
and the front part of too draggy then suddenly the plot goes very fast.
not as nice as expected.

hmmm got quite close to sufyan recently.
since the beginning of this year i guess.
but i'm starting to feel weird.
as in we're like suddenly very close?
i dunno.
cuz we never talk to each other in yj.
but i know his existence la.
it was during prom and we took photos.
i called him 'cool guy' cuz he didnt smile when we took photos.
then from then on he calls me 'hot girl'.
hmmm.

guess i'm too sensitive and i hope i'm thinking too much myself.
maybe i'm just afraid of getting close with guys now.
once bitten twice shy huh.
and i was bitten recently again so of cuz i'll stay as far away from trouble as i can.
i just wanna be alone now.
let me tear, let me cry, let me die alone.
the 'me' as in my heart.
i'm too tired...

nevertheless, he's still anice guy and good friend to have.
at least he's gentleman enough. ha.
i paid for movie so he paid for dinner.
and he specially bring jacket for me but i brought my own too.

oh ya and he gave me this stalk of nicely wrapped ferrero rocher!

he said he wrapped it himself. pretty!
thanks :)

wasnt scheduled to work the day before.
met up with johnson to help him get materials to make roses for his mum's bday
then we went back yj with taiwei and yanni.
wanted to see odac people but CCA was cancelled.
and the teachers all disappeared.

so we ended up slacking at ljs.
was trying to teach them how to fold roses.
well, seems like the 2guys succeed but yanni... must work harder!
hee.

but was sad to found out some truth.
to know that i was fooled again.
how nice.
i just dont understand guys sometimes.
why must he lied about such thing?
but it's all in the past.
i'll never know the real reason so just forget it.

i went up to look for mr ho!
miss him la.
just nice ah fat ended tuition when i went up so we went home together.
chatted with mr ho about A level's result.
he keeps saying i'll make it.
can i? really?
but i kept getting bad dreams.
freak me out.
and we'll be getting back results by next week!
scary!

please please please,
grant my wish.
i just want to get into local university!

didnt work on vday eve so spent the day with my dearest sis.
went to do manicure and pedicure before meeting her.
went to eat at crown prince hotel's swensens.
the vday set is very nice and filling!


me with my nicely painted french manicure. i missed it!
took it off after 1st day of CNY cuz a lot of it chipped off when i was cleaning my room.
so sad la.

all the nice food!





my cutie! *muacks*

my pathetic vday was spent at the counter.
nobody wanna work pm shift cuz they wanna spend their night with their boyfriends and husband.
well i've NOTHING on so i shall work.
lucky i've felicia with me.
so 2 of us spent our time snacking away, reading magazines.
but at least she got somebody waiting at the mrt station with flowers for her,
though it's more of like a headache thing to her...
i guess it's just my own feeling of being left out.

i kept looking down to read while working cuz i dont wanna see couples walking past.
these days i just dont like the idea of seeing couples together.
say i'm jealous, whatever.
i just dont want to feel the heartache.

my vday presents from colleagues:

the purple rose from luxuan and the heart with chocolate from cass.
thanks :D

my 1st early vday gift from junhao.


CHOCOLATES! :)

really thanks a lot. seems like for the past 2years, he's the only guy who gave me vday gifts.
vday has always been a friendship day to me.
love the days back in st nicks when all of us were busy running here and there to deliver our vday presents on vday morning.
sorry for not preparing gifts this year cuz i spent a lot of money and time on christmas presents so decided not to do for vday.
hee. paiseh.

YES!
i finally managed to turn on my computer!
so i must blog a lot now and upload all the photos before everything is gone.
cuz dad's gonna reformat this damn dying thing.
guess it's the only way out...

work is getting more and more boring cuz promotion already ended.
nothing much beside the sony redemptions.
so it's back to the reading magazines and comics days.
ya it's damn slack but sometimes u can be bored until u gonna doze off.
haiz.
but the busy promotion period is so killing.
when sales and all the different redemptions come together,
all of us feel like dying.
ha so boring or busy, we still have things to complain about.
we're so hard to please!

and it's super sad that i had to go back to work on the 3rd day of CNY.
people on the streets are dressed up nicely to go out,
and me, was dressed up in whole black to go for work.
super duper sad can!
:(

though at the beginning there was a lot of backstabbing among us and the office girl,
i thought working at the counter gonna be tough,
but now i guess everything turns out fine,
at least much more peaceful.
and i really like ALL my colleagues.
i believe they're all nice people from what i've seen so far.
it's nice and fun to work with them.
most importantly I LOVE THIS JOB!
though i'm quite hot-tempered and attitude customers at times.
well, sometimes they're just too irritating!
bleh :p

around 2weeks ago when ais and i were too bored...


ais said she knows take from which angle so that the person in the picture will look slimer. eh do i look any slimer? ha.

ais made me do this pose! so act cute. *pukes*

during the valentine's day period, our counter was so nicely decorated!

the big heart of fake roses over our 'i' sign is so pretty isnt it!

vase of real roses!

poster on our counter.


with luxuan and eleanor! loves.


with cass on CNY eve. i looked super pale without makeup :x

made some good friends among these colleagues.
i miss fiona!
but now her school starts so she not working at counter,
only sometimes she'll work in the office.
i miss chatting while working with her!

so now i guess we gonna slack all the way till april until there's another promotion.
i wonder how we gonna survive.
and now i'm scheduled to work lesser.
hmmm.
but i need more money cuz i can really spend man.
lol.
feel like taking up tuition!
i can teach primary school mathes and chinese.
any lobang please recommend!
hee.

i'm so pissed with my house computer!!!
it cant be turn on again!
arrgh.

and now i'm using the laptop.
so not use to it.
and i cant upload or download anything to it.
hate it!

so PISSED OFF now.
shall go watch hana kimi on youtube and hopefully i'll feel better.
ARRGH!

新年快乐！
HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR!

finally i'm updating.
because i can finally switch on the damn computer.
guess this stupid thing gonna crash soon.
cuz out of 5 times i try to turn it on,
maybe onbly the 5th time it'll work.
arrgh.
so pissed.

dont think my parents will get a new computer for us cuz they've THEIR shared laptop for my mum's studies.
i cant wait to get my own laptop!
but must wait till i can really enter university.
sob sob.

it's CNY but i dont feel anything much about it.
super no mood to celebrate it this year.
dunno why!
and i've to work tomorrow when others still have 1 day of holiday!
ARRGH!

but i guess i've nothing much to do if i dont work.
except to clean up my room!
tried to clean it on CNY eve but of cuz i couldnt finish, bleh.
and that fat sis of mine didnt want to help!
didnt realise our room is so super dirty and dusty!
no wonder my dad say our room is like pig sty.
i think it's worse than a pig sty can.
there's dust like everywhere!
i guess our immune system must be super good to live in such a dirty room for so long.
i swear i'll clean up everything soon.
but how soon, that depends how lazy i'm, lol.

photos taken with cousins yesterday at jiu jiu's house.


ah fat say we're bitches so she didnt want take photos with us.
whatever. bleh.

1st day of CNY was just like normal.
after visiting jiu jiu's house, went up ah yi's house to play mahjong with cousins.
gamble session! hee.
but i lost money, sob.

today we invited jiu jiu's family and ah yi's family up for dinner.
was busy helping dad to prepare since afternoon.
mum wasnt feeling well and stupid sis kept sleeping.
arrgh.
only reward was nice dinner.
now i'm super shagged.

guess i'll update more tomorrow.
night!

oh no!
i wasted another off day again.

couldnt sleep last night after i went offline.
was feeling cold and had slight fever.
and my stupid intestine was turning upside down inside my stomach cuz i ate pills to cure my constipation, hee.
finally slept on the sofa at 4plus after running to the toilet.

nice sister woke me up at 6plus to ask me go back room to sleep before she left for school.
so i slept till 10am then woke up to get some food.
ate and slack around.
was bored until i went to watch cartoon network!
haha.
then went to sleep again at 1pm until yen ru called to tell me about that pig.

went to meet her and walked around amk central.
she brought me to the new amk hub.
only basemet 1 and 2 are open but can see that it's really quite a big place.
dad came to join us after work and he treat us to dinner at S11, yeah!

supposed to pack my room but i end up watching tv and reading comic.
and now i gonna watch hana kimi on youtube.
gosh!
i dont have much off days and CNY is coming but my room is still so messy and dirty!!!
the floor, the table, the cupboard, even the bed!
and my small tiny wardrobe.
can please buy me a new room?
cuz i think i need to repack everything!
lol.

i'm just too lazy :p

my heart hurts today.
cuz my darling sister cried.

was waiting for her call to tell me her O level chinese result.
in the end got woken up by her good friend's call saying that she's crying very badly and asked me quickly speak to her.
but she got an A2!
it's actually good enough but she's still very upset.
upset until she hung up my call.
arrgh.

but my heart really hurts.
cuz she kept crying,
saying that most of her friends got A1
and that she has let my mum down.

well, i guess i understand how she feels.
our mum teaches chinese, it's natural that we think our chinese is good.
and mum always have high expectations from us.
but this time mum wasnt angry at all!

she says my sis's chinese standard is lower then mine,
so cannot compared.
and i hope that my sis isnt comparing her result with mine.
cuz stupid dad say it's my fault cuz i got A1 for chinese that time.
wow like that also my fault???
ridiculous.

anyway my sis is so much smarter and more discipline then me can.
her maths and science is like ace all the way.
in triple science class now and is top 20 students.
i'm so proud of her and i believe she'll do well in O level!
but her chinese and english language...
guess i must try to help her when i'm free...

i cried with her over the phone when i called her the 3rd time.
really cant bear to hear this darling of mine to cry so bitterly.
she asked me to go out and meet her cuz she dont feel like going home yet.
of cuz i quickly went out to meet her.
if anything happens to her, i wont forgive myself.
i can afford to lose anybody but just not her.
nobody can replace her position!
i simply love her :)

i just hope she dont stress herself too much.
it's her important year this year.
hope she'll study hard and do well.
i've confidence in her!
cuz she'll always finish her work before going to play or what.
at least she knows what she's doing.
unlike me...

seeing her reaction,
i'm very worried too.
i'm afraid that i'll cry like her or even worse when i get back A level result.
which will be like about 2weeks away?
*sigh*
it's like waiting for death now.

what am i going to do if i flunk my A's?

freak.
i spent 2hrs plus to fix this stupid template.
siying says this type of template is easier to read rather then those which you've to click different buttons for the profile, entries, tagboard etc.
so i shall listen to her, hee.

i still love black background templates!
guess black and white goes very well with each other.
but i've so much more to update with the template.
like the links and stuffs.
haiz.

guess i'll be back blogging when i've the time.
or maybe just put some photos.
'bu she de' just abandon this blog like that...

it's finally my off day!
realised my off day is usually on friday.
i wonder if it's good or bad...

hope i'll have time to update again.
life isnt that great for me these few months...
arrgh.