i'm using TWO computers right now.
my house lousy computer and my parents' laptop.
my dad finally managed to 'wake' the old PC up and reformat it.
i dunno how he did it but it's done anyway.
so now i'm trying to update and install important things back in.
and it's taking 1000years!
the updates keep coming non-stop and i keep restarting the PC.
cant the stupid damn thing undate everything at one go then restart all together!
arrgh.
and i wonder why am i doing all these when mum already ordered a new PC which will only come in a few days time.
but there's gonna be a new PC so why bother about the old dying one which dunno when will it 'die' again!
haiz.
i'm tired.
and my mood is really BAD now.
or rather these few days my mood hasnt been good at all.
just that i've been suppressing it without even realising it myself.
no wonder i've been shopping so much and eating so much of chocolates recently.
i guess i'm just trying to use money to buy some happiness.
haiz.
i just dont feel good.
dont like my life now.
keep worrying about a lot of stuffs...
computer is one thing i'm vexed about.
keep thinking about whether to get my own lappy now or not.
dad's nagging and blaming us (as in me & my sis) for spoiling the PC is irritating me.
we keep quarreling over PC stuffs cuz he thinks he's right while i think i'm right.
arrgh.
until mum says we shall just get a new PC but piggy and i will have to chip in a few hundred bucks each.
then dad managed to boot up the dying PC and he started nagging that we shouldnt buy new one so soon.
and piggy keeps saying that i cant use the new PC so much and cant download too much things into it cuz it's suppose to be HER PC since i'll get my own lappy once i enter university.
fine, now all bully me.
so i shall just get my OWN lappy and fight with no one else.
wait till the next coming IT show,
i shall be the 'boss' and have all the say to my OWN laptop.
i cant wait till i get into university, i'll DIE!
arrgh.
talking about university,
the biggest thing i'm worried about.
i cant wait to get my posting.
cuz i'm living so aimlessly and so meaninglessly now
and i really hate it.
the feeling if not knowing where my future lies and cant the path in front of me,
really sucks like hell.
it's torturing.
i envy friends around me who started their schooling life already.
be it poly or private schools, at least they're doing something they like and heading towards their future.
i wish them all the best.
and to those who received letters for interview to university courses,
thst's even better.
at least they see some chances and hope.
hopefully they can make it through and get what they want.
as for me,
i've nothing but i dont wanna end up with nothing.
but all i can do is only wait...
my mood is especially bad during work.
somehow sitting at the counter just make me feel very stuffed up.
like i cant breathe.
and i get irritated and pissed off easily.
customers who made me repeat myself a few times (some of them are deaf or too dumb to understand me i guess) will get cursed by me.
and i was super pissed on saturday morning when my working partner was late again.
it's always her! the newest part-timer. (i dont want to say names especially when i'm really pissed)
and she was almost 3hours late.
how can i not get pissed!?
i was already late by 10mins and i'm unhappy about myself for that.
when i reached the counter and she finally picked up my call at 10am,
she told me she just woke up!
when she's supposed to report for work at 9.40am!
she told me she'll rushed down immediately but i waited till 12noon she hadnt reach yet.
i sms her and asked why is she taking so long and if she had fallen back to sleep,
she still can tell me "ya i fell asleep again just now. on my way down now."
1234567!*~#=<%
it's a saturday morning and i'm left all alone doing opening and answering the crowd's enquiries!
what's the point of wendy rostering 2people working same shift!
arrgh.
and she's always late for more than 30mins.
this time i really think it's too much.
she's already 22 years old, cant she be a little more responsible?
haiz.
but i didnt want to tell her off personally so i purposely complained to eleanor about it the next day,
in front of her best friend who happened to work on sunday.
end up i sort of offended another colleague,
somemore we're supposed to be quite close.
i understand that they're best friends.
but that doesnt mean that she can help her friend by siding her and becoming unhappy about me!
maybe i put it in a wrong way that she misunderstood that i'm scolding her cuz sometimes she's late too.
whatever the case, i know i had made things worse.
haiz.
i really have no mood to work these days.
no mood and patience to serve and smile at customers.
i just feel like being alone, rather be left alone and escape from the noisy world.
some friends say i should take a break.
but take a break and do what?
and taking a break means no income for me.
then how am i going to survive...
some friends say i should change job if i'm bored with this job.
yes i admit that i'm getting sick of my job and i do have the thinking of changing jobs.
but i know i wont.
cuz i like my colleagues, although i dont like some of their irresponsible character,
they're all very nice friends to have.
moreover i promised wendy i'll work till august when school starts,
and i want to keep my words...
