actually i'm very emo now.
but i lied to him that i'm not.
i cant possibly tell him everything.
especially certain things which will only make us sad.
i dont want to end up quarreling or whatever.

but i just cant help to be sad after he sent me home.
as usual, my dad will nag at me again for coming back late and making him go home late cuz he'll always send me back.
well, my parents are always on his side.
i'm very glad that my parents didnt object to our relationship.
sometimes my mum will even help me say some good words when my dad starts nagging again.
at least they are quite supportive.
i'm really grateful of that, especially to mum because she always dislike and disagree to whatever i do but as for my relationship, she didnt make any noise, yet.

but for him, it's very different.
he tried all means to hide it from his mum because he knew she will object.
well, his mum still found out because she went to ransack his things.
though she didnt really object but i suppose she always nag at him,
that's why he never tell her the truth when we went out.
he always lie to her that he went out with his guys friends.
he used the same lie for tonight again.
and his mum actually called up his friends to check.
oh my.
and this happened tonight too.
yes i pity him, for not being able to have freedom.
but i pity his friends more, for having to gang up with him to lie to his mum.
and i pity myself.
haiz.

i wonder how his mum get hold of his friends mumber.
i will never let my parents do that.
ok fine i'm a rebellious girl who always do things my way.
he's a good boy, a mummy's boy in fact.
he hates it when i call him that, but the fact is he is indeed.
maybe he doesnt want it this way too.
i know he also wish to have freedom, but sometimes you've to fight for your own freedom.

i seriously dont understand his mum.
why is she so protective and restrictive over him?
he's no longer a small child anymore.
so what if he's the only child, it's not as if he cant take care of himself or dont know what he's thinking.
haiz.
i just got a feeling that i wont like his mum and she wont like me either.

no wonder lulut said she would like to have a boyfriend who is an orphan.
then wont have the problem of parents.
but somebody told me that you are in relationship with your boyfriend, not his mother, so why bother about his mother.
it's quite true, i like him, not his mum.
but to me, parents factor mean quite alot.

i know he respect his mum, i also want him to be filial,
but i also hope that we can have more time to spend together, OPENLY.

i supposed he got scolded tonight cuz his mum called his friends and they said they already got home and at that point of time he just sent me home.
well, his friends had to lie when they werent even out with him.
so he has to think of some reasons to explain to his mum.
i wondered what he said.
haiz.

he told me before that everything will be fine after A's.
he just dont want his mum to nag at him now and he will tell her the truth after A's.
so we might as well stop going out until A's is over right.
arrgh.
sorry, i know i'm being not understanding.

but i'm a wild girl who loves to play and go out most of the time.
i can tolerate now.
but if A's is over and things are still like that,
i really dont know how i'll react.

我真得很厌倦这样“偷偷摸摸”出去的做法。
我们又不是见不得光，为什么不可以光明正大的出去？

以前的感情被别人视为“不正常”，所以得偷偷摸摸，那我认了。
但现在呢，为什么我还得忍受这种“偷偷摸摸”的行为？

i guess i'm thinking too much and being over sensitive again.
or maybe we should really stop going out beside school hours, stop him from sending me home and let everything wait till A's is over.