it always rain when i'm in bad mood.
or rather i'm in bad mood because it rains?
everything went wrong when i'm in bad mood too.
or is it the other way round too?

feel like crying since yesterday.
i hate this feeling.
and a tear dropped down today when i got chase out of hcl class this morning.
just because i was too honest to say that i didnt finish reading the notes which she told us to read it before class.
honesty is not always good.
i doubt chenghui and jingchao really read the whole thing.
nvm, it's my fault.

i understand why laoshi did that.
i'm just too lousy.
if i still dont buck up,
i'm a gone case.

maybe i'm really a great disappointment to everybody, my parents, my teachers, ...
i'm so sorry.

i know laoshi was sad to chase me out of the class.
she told me to go back only when i finish reading.
when i was going back after 15mins, laoshi also asked chenghui to call me in.
she forced me to do some work for her to see after lesson and we had 1-1 session.
chat about alot of things.
from the chinese drama to my studies.
i guess she's concern about me, although she's so strict.
sometimes i really dont know whether i like or dislike her.
but i know she wants me to do well too.
grateful for that.

i guess the wrong thing is to choose the wrong subject.
shouldnt have taken hcl in the 1st place.
if i've taken cla instead...
maybe my results wont be so bad...
i'll be with the girls...
sometimes i do feel that i'm quite out of place.
all of them take cla while i take hcl.
somemore most of them take econs except for me and xling.
haiz.
too late to regret.
i can only move on.

STRESSED is the only word to describe studies.
i just hate to think of it.

my head is getting bigger with all the things running through.
it hurts.

but at least i made up my mind for 1 thing.
infatuation is over.
no more eyecandy!
maybe it will be a little upset at 1st but
i shall be good and sees only one.

glad to settle 1 thing.
other random thoughts still running.

getting more and more emo.
but i know i will cry no more.
i'm already numb.