Mood's damn bad lately.
especially after xuan's broke down on tue.
made me realise alot of things.
she's tired of life, so do i.
I dunno what and why I'm living for.
I dunno what I really want.
everything seems so empty.

went back to st nics and peiying on wed.
my whole mood got worse.
nobody seems to care about my presence wherever I go.
and I dun feel any sense of belonging to anywhere.
st nics isnt a happy place for me then left peiying for such a long time.
nothing just seem to be memorable.
and I realise that actually I dun have any true friends.
dun have any best friends in st nics.
sort of lost contact with friends from peiying, not as close anymore.

I'm so afraid this will happen in yj again.
everytime sees regina felicia jasmine randal that clique,
I feel so jealous.
can tell that they have this close bond but they never left out others.
but me, I'm just another wondering soul trying to fit myself in at somewhere.
maybe I'm an uninvited guest who goes round disturbing people.
people who take same combi as me just doesnt seem to open up, they keep everything to themselves.
perhaps we are just of different frequency.
or the problem lies in me?

I understand how xuan feels now.
some people may seem popular.
but friends around them are all hi-bye type.
when they need a real true friend to be there for them,
they find themselves so lonely.
I'm worse, I dun even have much hi-bye friends :(

glad that I've xuan now!
xuan's my new found lao gong! :D
shall be each others listening ears!
how I wish we're this close earlier.
but it's always late then never.
to xuan: I'll always be here for you! Smile :)

if only...
1 day...
I can find a true friend...